Larger Than Life
<<2004-06-10 - 10:51 p.m.>>

There were shell-game hustlers in Alexanderplatz and Abigail and I took the S-Bahn home without knowing how. Tomorrow Abigail and Moira and I will wander around and I don't know.

I know I'm supposed to be thinking about how it's all going to turn out fine. Maybe it's faith that it's all going to turn out fine that's the problem. In Germany, people are just people, just flesh and family and morning commute. I miss the American mythology when I'm in Europe. I miss superhuman ambition. I can't find my stirring, shaking drive right now. Where has it gone?

I cried at the kitchen table when Abigail and my roommates Emma and Ellen talked about September 11th. Silently and covertly. Natürlich.

I mostly feel almost fine and then I sit down to think and something wrong comes creeping in at the chinks.

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