phoenix {rising} |
| new - older - profile - rings - cast - notes - guestbook - host |
Revolution Leaving New York never stops being gut-wrenching. This summer I plan to get through as much Nabokov as possible. A worthy goal. I also plan to sit in smoky bars all night and grope my way into semi-fluency. The funny thing is the aloneness, how important it is to the experience. I talked to Moira this morning and she says she'll feel better when I'm there—and I'm glad she'll be there when I get there, but this is me on my own. On the phone she said something about how she tends to think, and how she thinks I probably tend to think, oh, I'm tough and independent, I can do this and only later realize about the missing. (Wrong!) But the point is, I am flying alone and living alone (i.e. not with good friends, for the first chunk) and I will be very far away from everything and very close to everything else and yesterday reading guidebooks I suddenly wanted very badly to go out and dance all night (there's no statutory closing time in Berlin) and wrote down the names of clubs that looked interesting. Then I left the bookstore and bought shoes in which to do it. I am losing my voice. No, literally. Maybe when I come back I will be tough and independent. (I'll still miss.) |
| linsay designs |