A Really Distinct Lack of Picturesqueness
<<2003-10-12 - 1:46 p.m.>>

I am grieved by my lack of picturesqueness. Chloë and Julia are, from the looks of their livejournal entries, clearly living very picturesque lives. They are full of half-lidded eyes and groups of softly laughing friends and female beauty.

I have holes in my socks and a late project. I have funks on Friday nights and spend Saturdays with my housemate and her boyfriend. Surely this indicates some deficiency on my part, doesn't it?

I wish I could recruit someone to lead by example, to demonstrate, slowly and carefully, how to function in a picturesque milieu. I am failing in some important way. I am losing, every moment, my chance to be wonderful. For the right kind of life.

I am, it once again becomes apparent, all wrong. I should get drunk more frequently. I should be...better somehow.

I make the modifications in my head (stud in right side of nose, verbatim tattooed across smooth taut thigh, slow smile, house without halfpainted doors and three nonfunctional lightswitches in a row) but can't seem to apply them.

Will someone just teach me? Please, will you teach me?

I'm really serious.

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