phoenix {rising} |
| new - older - profile - rings - cast - notes - guestbook - host |
New Seasons Which it was. Picking beans and brussels sprouts out of the displays, being handed a pound of chicken breast wrapped in brown paper and sealed with a sticker. The feel of an apple's firm weight in my palm, its skin under my thumb's restless caress. And being back (tentatively...) at TF seems like something that could help put me closer to where I want to be with eating. It's frustrating to be back where I was at the beginning of last year, and more frustrating to be so ambiguous about any course of action. So yes, I'm hoping for motivation—if not long-term, at least day-to-day. I want to reattach to that community. I miss the abundance of involvement in my daily life that I got from TF. So, it seems, I'm back. But I posted a little update about my activities in the interim that's gotten no responses yet, and that's got me nervous. Everything's always got me nervous. Today I sat at the dining room table and read Ruth Reichl's first memoir again when I should have been reading Rousseau, and sometimes it seems that I should read that book regularly, continually, over and over, because it fills some place in me. It's got such a balance of the sensory and the internal. I want a balance of the sensory and the internal. Today I've got a meeting of the nascent Reed College Creative Review to attend and a hundred pages of reading and a paper still to go. And so, other than my lovely lengthy phone conversation with Maggie this morning, the elements of personal connection will be once again postponed. |
| linsay designs |