On a Lighter Note
<<2003-03-03 - 4:38 p.m.>>

There is other, friendlier news. Cheerful stuff.

Kara and I are back on good terms. I don't believe that our lapse in good terms was evident here in the first place, but she ignored me for a week or so, sometimes pointedly, generally contributed to my feeling unsafe and sort of alone. But we're back on good terms. It was touch and go for awhile there, but things seem good. I'm comfortable in the triple again, which is very nice. I've been there the past two evenings, hanging out and reading and playing Boggle. God, we play Boggle so much.

My ego has received several much-needed boosts over the past few days.

When Miriam and I went to spend our Saturday night copyediting the Quest, we encountered Maggie, who is in my Gender & History class and who is a member of the newly elected Quest editorial staff (huzzah for a new editorial staff!), and who apparently believed that when I'd said on the first day of class that I am a freshman, and the only one in the class, I was perpetrating some kind of elaborate hoax. She asked me if I'm really a freshman. I assured her that I am. She asked if I had taken time off. I replied in the negative. She looked at me incredulously. She shook her head and said That's ridiculous. I don't believe it. Change your story. I think my response was a blank stare, because she continued along the lines that it's just that I say the smartest things, so it's weird that I'm a freshman. I thanked her. She said I think you're from another planet. The editor who was showing us how to access the editing files assured me that this was a compliment.

I felt complimented.

And then when Miriam and I sent over several article texts covered in edits, we overheard Melly, for whom we'd edited when we edited a few weeks ago, saying "Those two are really good editors. We have to be nice to them." Hearing things like that makes me feel capable. It reminds me that no matter how much I see a hopeless mess when I look at myself, other people see an intelligent, confident, capable human being.

I have gotten emails of the "Hi, I miss you" variety from Julia and Avi—and was perhaps especially touched by Avi's, because emotion and Avi are pretty much of the oil-and-water model (though I recently heard from Miriam that some scientist somewhere has figured out how to mix the two. It involves removing molecules of some variety. I didn't understand it). Granted, Avi's email didn't exactly say "Hi, I miss you," but it did say "You should be online more often," which is "Hi, I miss you" beneath only the thinnest of veils. I suddenly missed him with some ferocity.

I remember leaning back casually against the escalator railing in Port Authority, Avi leaning against the other railing, across from me. We bantered, flicking back and forth our flippantly escalating nonsense. Such a comfortable memory.

Strange and wonderful creatures, these people whom I love. That they love me back—imagine!

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